late nights - apparently this is what happens.

First of all, I would like to say that I absolutely SHOULD be working on my big paper and presentation that are both due tomorrow (today) evening.

To go to the doctor, or not to go to the doctor...? You see, some days are just fine. Everything is under control. But then, the next day, or sometimes even within the exact same day,

nothing is right.
nothing is fine.
everything is scary.
between fight and flight, flight is definitely winning.

But surely I'm over-reacting. Just because I like to listen to sad songs to make myself more sad and frustrated doesn't make me crazy, right?

My thoughts bounce around like the skinny kid in a bounce house - they just get so jumbled. Which is probably why any posts I make on here aren't going to make any sense. And I don't even know if they will help me.

But I think that I do want to go see the doctor about getting on medication. All of the independent research that I've been doing should be investigated or confirmed by someone who is an actual doctor.

.................................................................................................................................

Just broke down. Actual anxiety attack. No real reason, but I'm so tired, and my eyes hurt so bad. And I've been crying and clutching the pillow.

Still have homework. Everyone's asleep.